Same Ol' Same Ol'

New Place, Same Crap

New People, Same treatment

I see that no matter where I go in life and no matter what I do, People will treat me wrong, use me and abuse me until I am all out

I should be use to this by now but unfortunately I'm not

Friends, Family, Guys, will it ever end.....??

3 More Weeks

3 more weeks of classes
3 more weeks of papers
3 more weeks of the torture that has been this semester
3 more weeks before I will close the chapter to this semester
3 more weeks to be back in the comfort of my home where I feel safe
3 more weeks and maybe I will get over this stupid crush
I know that nothing will ever happen between us but yet somewhere in the back of my head I still have this hope
I'm tired of having hope just to have it shattered into pieces
Why do I still like people when I know that with most of them I have no chance
Why am I not good enough?
I'm too loud, too outgoing, too in your face, too bold and that turns people off from me
It's not like I want people to shy away from me because I actually am a nice person outside of being loud
But my personality scares people away and they don't take time to get to know me
Why won't this crush go awayyyyyyy...
I see you and I smile because I'm crushin on you but I instantly get sad too because I know that I will never be anything to you...
3 more weeks till I can escape it all :(

Good Enough??

Yup I think that you're cute

You were at a floor event that we had today

I came down for a while to see what was going on and because one of my friends told me that I should

I saw you but I didn't say anything to you

I have seen you plenty of times before but when i saw you that day in the Roth lounge, something hit me

It was like a light bulb went off in my head and I saw that you are really attractive

But I know that I am no way in your league

Your smart and cute and have so much going for you

Above all you are a nerdy white boy(in a cute way)

I am the loud, black girl that is smart in some ways but not in others

You will NEVER look at me in that way so why must I even care?

I know that your league is so different from mine

You probably want a small white girl that's cute, smart, athletic and someone that you can show off to the world

I am none of that

I am a voluptuous, loud, funny, sarcastic, crazy, fun, caring girl

I wish that, that was enough for you

You probably don't even know that I exist

I'm just one of your friend's crazy friend that you see in passing

It's whatever, that's the story of my life

I'm always overlooked, just a friend or apparently not good enough to date

I'm use to it and my feelings get hurt for a while but than I get over it

My heart can take it....... Maybe.....

This is what I tell myself so that I can sleep at night

This is what I tell myself so that I don't think on it to much

This is what I tell myself so that I don't give up

These lies keep me going and I don't want to confront the truth of them

Will I ever be good enough for somebody?

I see the Light-Tangled

Rapunzel:
All those days watching from the windows
All those years outside looking in
All that time never even knowing
Just how blind I've been
Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here, suddenly I see
Standing here, it's all so clear
I'm where I am meant to be

And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different
Now that I see you

(musical interlude)

Eugene(Flynn):
All those days chasing down a daydream
All those years living in a blur
All that time never truly seeing
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Things, the way they were
Now she's here shining in the starlight
Now she's here, suddenly I know
If she's here it's crystal clear
I'm where I'm meant to go

Rapunzel & Eugene (Flynn):
And at last I see the light

Eugene (Flynn):
And it's like the fog has lifted

Rapunzel & Eugene (Flynn):
And at last I see the light

Rapunzel:
And it's like the sky is new

Rapunzel & Eugene(Flynn):
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once, everything is different
Now that I see you
Now that I see you <3

College & Life

I am now staring down the barrel of gun that is seeming to going to assassinate me
I may or may not pass one of my courses that I need for my major which will drop my gpa and I will have to take it over again
Oh the joys of college that love to stress me out
This could potentially stop me from pursuing my dream of studying abroad and even going to grad school and getting into the right program
What did I get myself into too?
It always seems like I'm in this never ending hole that as soon as I get close to the top I am knocked back down and hit harder than before
I question my life, my major, my sanity, my well being, I question so much all the time
I use to be such a happy, carefree, stress free person and then I came to college and I swear it aged me a few years
Lord how do I get back to that place of such peace, such joy, such love, such laughter
I seem to have lost me along the way pursuing my goals
I want to come back to me and ultimately back to you
I feel as if I have gone so far and don't know how to get back
I look around and try to find you God but I feel as if you are hiding your face from me
Lord I NEED you
I can't do this without you, I can't go on without you and personally I don't want to go on without you
Oh God please be strong where I am weak and be my strong tower and be with me
I am so down and I need to get back up but where do I start?
Where do I go from here??

When is it my turn?

When will it be my turn I wonder?
I've been waiting for a while now and it seems that my turn will never come
So many people around me are getting their turn and their chance, where is mine?
It seems like a far off dream that is just that a dream
It will never happen to me and I will just have to accept the cruel reality
I will become a professional and have all these great things except for the one thing that I really desire
It is to be loved, to be in love, to have true love and for it to last for all time
It doesn't seem like it's a lot to want but yet it always comes up
I think about it even when I don't want too and it seems to come up in conversation very often
I don't want it to dominate my life because I have a lot of dreams, ambitions and goals that I want to reach
So I'm not one of those girls that love and marriage is all I want to do in life
I don't need a relationship but to have one would be nice
I just wonder when will I be good enough to be in a relationship?
I know that I may be damaged goods but does that make me not good enough to have someone love me and keep me around
Good enough that they could see a future with me and not throw me to the side like yesterday's news
I want to be important to that one person and when they see me that it's like there is no one else for them
Will I ever have my turn or will I forever be known as damaged goods and too fragile to touch?