Life

Life sucks sometimes
There are so many things that come up and make it so difficult
 People coming in and out of your life
Hurting you and then leaving and not having a care in the world that they did
I'm sick of being hurt and having to act like everything is ok
I have a big heart but that doesn't mean that I don't feel pain, anger,jealousy
I have played pretend for so long that sometimes I don't know what is my show and what is reality
Can someone hear me crying in the middle of the night when I'm hurt
Will someone care that this pain is too much for me to handle?
I don't wanna cry anymore but the tears seems to come anyway
I want to be strong but then I want to be able to cry and let things go
I want to be able to feel completely vulnerable and feel safe in vulnerability
I feel like my wall that is around my heart just keeps getting higher and stronger because I can't take the pain
I can't take the pain because it hurts too me
I need to be strong as I have always been but after 14 years of it, it gets old
Who will hear me cry out and let me be vulnerable?
Until then crying myself to sleep and hiding my feelings is all that I can do