Left out

Ever be with your friends and feel like your absolutely alone??
Yeah we all hang together but it feels like something is different
They both like one of the people we hang with and I'm just kinda left there
It's not that they make me feel that way it's just a feeling that comes up sometimes
I feel like the odd man out and Its the 4 of them and me to tag along
Why do I feel like this all of a sudden?
I use to feel so included and now I just feel like a nuisance
I feel like the little sibling that tags along but they don't really want them there
I'm just their for comic relief and because I ask them if I can come
I don't like anybody right now and I really don't know if that's weird or not?
I've gotten over all my crushes because I realized that they were going nowhere
Why waste my time and energy on someone that doesn't even realize that I exist?
I feel so forgot about and I don't know why?
I know that people live me but sometimes I feel as if I'm not good enough for them
What I need and want is put on the backburner because it's not as important as other people's problems
I don't just want to be the tag along or the "really good friend"
I know that I have potential to be so much more but when will it come out?
Who knows maybe I will just be the tag along for now
Maybe one day someone will notice who I am not just Mama Miere
But Jamiere Leslie that woman that is just like any other person out here
Not to be feared but to be loved and taken care of and just want genuine friendships
And how about a guy that sees who I really am and not just want sex from me?
I'm not an object to be played with or a heart just to break
I am a woman of God that has her ups and downs
Maybe one day someone will make me feel included and not just as the tag along friend...

New Life

It feels great to finally see the sun outside
Its the first day of spring and it's great to know that summer is near
It seems like the winter brought on so many stresses and problems
But with the spring there is time for new chances and new life
Its time to get out of this funk and stop observing life
No longer time to play the background but time to step up and start living
Start laughing more, smiling more
Start taking everyday one day at a time and not just a future that is so far off
I'm ready for this new chance and new day
God whatever you want to do I'm ready and willing
I know that you will take care of me and I trust you with my whole heart
No matter what my mind may say or what people may say I cling to you
Just as spring brings new life, God I ask that you breathe new life and new fire into me
I'm ready! :)

Moving on

Happy to finally say that I'm moving on from you
It was torture to have thoughts of you all the time
Finally it has passed and I know that I can just be your friend
It took me a while to get over you but I finally have
Can I just say that I'm done doing this whole liking and getting over process
God it's your turn :)

Life

Life sucks sometimes
There are so many things that come up and make it so difficult
 People coming in and out of your life
Hurting you and then leaving and not having a care in the world that they did
I'm sick of being hurt and having to act like everything is ok
I have a big heart but that doesn't mean that I don't feel pain, anger,jealousy
I have played pretend for so long that sometimes I don't know what is my show and what is reality
Can someone hear me crying in the middle of the night when I'm hurt
Will someone care that this pain is too much for me to handle?
I don't wanna cry anymore but the tears seems to come anyway
I want to be strong but then I want to be able to cry and let things go
I want to be able to feel completely vulnerable and feel safe in vulnerability
I feel like my wall that is around my heart just keeps getting higher and stronger because I can't take the pain
I can't take the pain because it hurts too me
I need to be strong as I have always been but after 14 years of it, it gets old
Who will hear me cry out and let me be vulnerable?
Until then crying myself to sleep and hiding my feelings is all that I can do