My feelings

I feel like death again
I been sick since last thursday and it hasn't seem to get any better
I wish I could eat like a normal person but my body keeps rebelling against me
I really just want to be better but it doesn't seem to be happening any time soon
I have to study for 3 exams that start coming up this friday
I just want to go home and curl up in my bed and stay there
At home is where i feel comfort but I have another week before I can do that
I just want my mom to hold me and tell me that everyone is going to be ok
I just have so much that seems to be going on in my head lately and being sick doesn't make it better
Why can't things just be a little bit easy?
Why can't I just shake off all of this fear that seems to have me drowning?
Lately I've been feeling like I'm drowning in a sea of emotions and problems
It all hit me at once
Usually I can deal with these silent killers that try to come and hurt me but this time it seems like it has come to shake me and keep me bound
I trust in God and I know that he has a plan but it still gets hard
I still cry myself to sleep sometimes
I still sit in confusion and wonder how will I make it through the storm this time
God you are still the great I am and my life is in your hand
But right now I feel that everything is coming against me and I look for you and it's hard to see you
I am weak and i need you to be strong for me
I can't do this on my own
I am a lowly sinner, saved by your grace that is calling on you
God I need you RIGHT NOW!